1. |
American Lullaby
05:59
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American Lullaby
by Dean Friedman
Don’t you fret now. Don’t you cry.
It’s an American Lullaby.
Manifest Destiny’s a lie.
It’s an American Lullaby.
Half Moon sailing through the night.
Crack of a musket fired, first light.
Always keep your powder dry.
It’s an American Lullaby.
Rest your head, in dreams you’ll fly.
It’s an American Lullaby.
Blaze a trail across the sky.
It’s an American Lullaby.
A drinking gourd will point the way.
Stealth by night and sleep by day.
On Peg Leg Joe you can rely.
It’s an American Lullaby.
Unclench your fist and dry your eye.
It’s an American Lullaby.
Judgement’s served from up on high.
It’s an American Lullaby.
One fine night in Paradise,
The god of thunder rolls the dice.
A thousand rounds light up the sky.
It’s an American Lullaby
copyright (c) 2021 Dean Friedman Music
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2. |
Too Much Stuff
02:54
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I Got Too Much Stuff
by Dean Friedman
I got too much stuff.
I’ve got way more shoes than it’s possible to use.
I got too much stuff.
I’ve got a myriad of devices (and way too many vices).
I’ve got no recollection of ever starting this collection.
And I guess my innate curiosity, combined with sheer fastidiosity,
Reached escape velocity, determining my ultimate direction.
And upon careful reflection, I can’t ignore my obvious predilection for
Too much stuff.
I’ve got multiple containers full of colanders and strainers.
I’ve got too much stuff.
I’ve got various vessels filled with mortars and pestles.
(It’s a real mess, I’ll tell ya)
Probably started as a child collecting bottle caps and stamps.
Gradually, over time, it grew to keyboards, guitars, and amps.
I never saw myself as a hoarder with an order-disorder,
But after the court-order, I concluded I was clearly on the border.
I’ve got too much stuff.
I admit it’s almost comical, it’s certainly not economical.
I’ve got too much stuff.
I once tried to keep a chronicle - storage fees alone were astronomical.
A friend said, it’s a symptom of some deep-seated neurosis.
So, I went to a shrink for a professional psyche diagnosis.
So, I said to him, “Doc, give it to me straight - what’s my likely prognosis?”
He scheduled me for fifty-two weeks of hypnosis.
I’ve got too much stuff.
My basement is cluttered with things best left unuttered.
I’ve got too much stuff.
I recommend you avoid the attic; especially if you’re asthmatic.
Now some may be somewhat skeptical, but everything’s collectable.
And pardon my inelegance, I don’t mean to impugn your intelligence.
But stop by one afternoon, you’ll see my entire bedroom is strewn
with autographed production cells from a Bugs Bunny Cartoon,
Plus my prized signed photograph of Reese Witherspoon,
And the actual Raccoon Cap worn by Daniel Boone,
Or maybe Davey Crocket. Plus this gold-plated locket, I keep in my pocket.
Along with this watch, it keeps really good time – so don’t knock it.
I’ve got too much stuff.
My house is a mess. It’s really quite stressful.
I’ve got too much stuff.
I tried to create order, but I’ve been unsuccessful.
I’ve got tchotchkes and doodads and trinkets and knickknacks,
Plus the world’s largest collection of fruit-flavored Tic Tacs.
Novelties and mementos and assorted paraphernalia,
Plus a stuffed duck-billed platypus, all the way from Australia.
I’ve got too much stuff.
I’m filled to the brim with packages of Slim Jims.
I’ve got too much stuff.
I’m stacked to the rafters with glasses from LensCrafters.
I try not to grumble, but my life’s an absolute jumble.
I take one step in any direction, and I stumble.
I need to minimize and reorganize and downsize and revise,
And optimize and prioritize and everything that that implies.
I’ve got too much stuff.
I’ve got sixty-two cases of Marshmallow Fluff
I’ve got too much stuff.
And, believe me, that’s way, wa-a-a-a-y more than enough
I’m stuffed to the gills with hammers and drills,
And poster and pamphlets and flyers and handbills.
I can’t help but categorize, classify, and collate,
By color and size, by texture and weight.
I pray for recovery; but it’s probably too late…
I’ve got TOO MUCH STUFF!
copyright (c) Dean Friedman Music
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3. |
Halfway Normal World
03:24
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Halfway Normal World
by Dean Friedman
I just wanna go to the movies.
Meet up with a bunch of my friends.
Buy a box of Skittles, find some good seats in the middle,
And watch the credits roll ‘til the end.
Then, maybe stop at the diner.
A burger with some fries and a coke.
Some pie for dessert… couldn’t hurt.
The service so slow it’s a joke.
Drop some change in the jukebox - The Beachboys’
‘California Girls’.
I wish I could… get back...
To a halfway normal world.
Take me out to the ballgame.
It doesn’t seem like too much to ask.
A diamond oasis, players runnin’ the bases,
The catcher... is wearing a mask.
We’ll all root for the home team.
We’ll fill up on peanuts and beer.
We’ll yell at the umpire and tell him to retire,
And think of folks that couldn’t be here.
And on the mound, the pitcher, a southpaw,
His curveball will be hurled.
I wish I could... get back…
To a halfway normal world.
I wish we could... get back…
To a halfway normal world.
I’m gonna throw a big party,
Invite everybody I know.
We’ll kibbitz and mingle, I’ll serve pretzels and Pringles.
We’ll sit side-by-side and toe-to-toe.
We’ll lose ourselves in deep conversation.
We’ll play lots of silly games.
We’ll laugh and we’ll smile, and then after a while,
We’ll barely remember our names.
We’ll all wind up in the kitchen, at the counter,
With the tablecloth unfurled.
I wish I could... get back...
To a halfway normal world.
I wish we could... get back...
To a halfway normal world.
copyright (c) Dean Friedman Music
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4. |
The Swing of Things
03:04
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The Swing of Things
by Dean Friedman
I was down for the count. I was out of commission.
I was having a bad day.
I was definitely in a precarious position.
But if you ask me “how’m I doin’?”, now. This is what I’d say… I’d say,
I’m slowly getting back into the swing of things.
I’m actually looking forward to what tomorrow brings.
Things are looking up – it’s what the bluebird sings.
I’m slowly getting back into the swing of things.
I was feeling uninspired and so unmotivated.
My… my ‘get up and go’ was gone.
But staring at the walls is, just so… overrated.
So, I finally got up out of bed to sing this song. And…
I’m slowly getting back into the swing of things.
I’m actually looking forward to what tomorrow brings.
I don’t mind getting up when the doorbell rings.
I’m slowly getting back into the swing of things.
Now every day that passes, I’m feelin’ just a little bit better.
My outlook is significantly improved.
You know I never was a real go-getter,
But now I feel I’m finally getting ‘back in the groove’.
I’m slowly getting back into the swing of things.
I’m actually looking forward to what tomorrow brings.
I even took the time change my ukulele strings!
I’m slowly getting back into the swing of things.
So, if you’re down in the dumps and your life is looking dreary,
And you’re feeling unenthused and depressed,
Heed my advice, it’s more than just a theory.
Take a shower, comb your hair and…. get dressed. And you’ll be…
Slowly getting back into the swing of things.
Actually looking forward to what tomorrow brings.
Things are looking up – it’s what the bluebird sings
I’m slowly getting back. Slowly getting back.
Slowly getting back into the swing of things.
copyright (c) 2021 Dean Friedman Music
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5. |
The Russians Are Coming
05:23
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The Russians Are Coming
by Dean Friedman
The Russians Are Coming
The Russians Are Coming
The Russians Are Coming
The Russians are here!
Russian fixer, Felix Sater,
Rode to his office in the Trump Tower elevator.
Like his associate he had no scruples;
Pump and dump, dollars or rubles.
Did a deal with ‘you know who’ down in Soho.
Money laundering – that’s a no, no!
How’d he make his millions? Russian Mafia, that’s how.
Brokered a deal for Trump Tower Moscow.
The Russians Are Coming
The Russians Are Coming
The Russians Are Coming
The Russians are here!
Emin Agalarov, he’s a pop star!
His daddy, Ara Agalorov owns a big car,
And a big jet, and a big yacht.
Friend of Vladimir, billionaire oligarch.
To the ‘useful idiot’, they toasted.
The stage was set. In his concert hall he hosted
Trump’s Miss Universe Moscow pageant.
Later at the hotel, well, you can just imagine.
The Russians Are Coming
The Russians Are Coming
Enter Paul Manafort – political consultant.
Worked for Oleg Deripaska another billionaire exhultant.
Millions in debt, Paul knew he just had to be patient.
Called up Konstantin Kilimnik - a known Russian agent.
Paul passed campaign data through secure communications,
In exchange for Fancy Bear’s hack-and-leak operations.
A campaign which ultimately prevails.
And Guccifer 2.0 hacks Hillary’s emails.
The Russians Are Coming
The Russians Are Coming
Now, Natalia Veselnitskaya met with little Donnie Junior,
Along with Jared Kushner – that guy’s got no sense of humor.
He looks so constipated. Could be why he’s always squinting.
Ostensibly, they came along to get some dirt on Clinton.
Then Kushner met with Kislyak, the Russian diplomat,
And the Russian banker Gorkov, just to have a little chat.
And Kushner turned to Kislyak – the greedy little gremlin -
Asked to create a back channel – directly to the Kremlin.
Directly to the Kremlin.
The Russians Are Coming
The Russians Are Coming
The Russians Are Coming
The Russians are here!
Next, Julian Assange, a man we hardly ever see,
Met with Roger Stone, in the Ecuador embassy,
While Maria Butina, at the GRU’s direction,
Funneled millions to the NRA to help sway the election.
Ilya Bykov, he was the accountant. Off-shore shell - 20 million and counting.
These facts are irrefutable. These crimes are indisputable.
The only thing save Trump from prison haircut:
Stone and Manafort kept their mouths shut.
The Russians Are Coming
The Russians Are Coming
The Russians Are Coming
The Russians are here!
Quid pro quo, kompromat, dead-drops, active measures,
Handlers, Russian assets, bag-men – pick your pleasures.
Say it ad infinitum, “No collusion, no collusion!
Don’t believe your eyes - it’s only an illusion!”
The goal? To create turmoil and is sewing mass confusion.
Pushkin, Dostoevsky, Plisetskaya, Chagal
Sakharov, Kasparov, Gagarin, all stand tall;
Their gifts are treasured ‘round the world – acknowledged, yes, as such.
But when comes to ex-head of KGB…
eh… not so much. Not so much.
The Russians Are Coming
The Russians Are Coming
The Russians Are Coming
The Russians are here!
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6. |
Sorry 'bout That
03:18
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‘Sorry ‘bout That’
by Dean Friedman
We were blessed with such bounty and plenty,
Miracles and wonders abound.
But we took it for granted that one time too many.
Now it’s too late to turn it around.
We went and despoiled a pristine habitat.
Sorry ‘bout that. Sorry ‘bout that.
We were meant to bequeath you a Garden,
To nurture and nourish your body and soul.
Instead, here we are, begging your pardon.
Willful neglect finally taking its toll.
We did real damage to Earth’s thermostat.
Sorry ‘bout that. Sorry ‘bout that.
We didn’t mean to be so mean.
All we had to do was keep the forests green,
And the air and water clean,
And use a little less polyethylene.
Instead, we engaged in meaningless tit-for-tat.
Sorry ‘bout that. Sorry ‘bout that.
Heirs to a world of infinite beauty.
Plenty to share, way more than enough.
But we fumbled our stewardship, failed in our duty.
Squandered your birthright for frivolous stuff.
Now all your fine prospects will inevitably fall flat.
Sorry ‘bout that. Sorry ‘bout that.
Feast your eyes on what we begat.
Sorry ‘bout that. Sorry ‘bout that.
We poisoned the well… didn’t mean to do that.
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7. |
Welcome to Stupid Town
04:14
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Welcome to Stupid Town
by Dean Friedman
We welcome you to Stupid Town.
We hope you’ll have a look around.
Please permit me to expound on my dear old Stupid Town
Welcome to Stupid Town,
Where everything is upside-down.
Our sheriff’s bent, the mayor’s a clown.
Here in Stupid Town!
In Stupid Town, we built a wall.
We built it 45 feet tall,
To keep out the folks from Smarty Town.
Of course, they just went and tunneled underground!
Welcome to Stupid Town!
Our Main Street is a bit rundown.
We ran our banks into the ground,
Here in Stupid Town!
In Stupid Town, the Mayor decreed,
Kids no longer had to read.
“Just watch TV and you’ll succeed. Look at me!’ he said.
Even the librarian agreed!
Welcome to Stupid Town,
Where facts will only make you frown.
Our willful ignorance is profound,
Here in Stupid Town!
In Stupid Town, we dug a well.
It served the residents very well.
Though after the spill, it had a funny smell.
Except for that, you could hardly tell!
Welcome to Stupid Town!
The sky is green, the water’s brown.
Both far and wide, we are renowned,
Here in Stupid Town!
In Stupid Town, if you catch the flu,
We throw a great big barbecue.
Then you walk around and go, “Ah-choo!”
And everyone will say, “God Bless You!”
Welcome to Stupid Town,
Where ‘healthcare’ is a dirty noun.
Our hospitals were all shut down,
Here in Stupid Town!
In Stupid Town, we passed a law.
You should have heard the bruhaha.
It might have had one tiny flaw -
We made it illegal for ice-caps to thaw!
Welcome to Stupid Town,
Where rivers flood and people drown,
And Wildfires burnt the houses down,
Here in Stupid Town!
In Stupid Town, we all prefer
To live our lives the way things were.
People say, “Yes ma’m and sir.”
Not them and they - just him and her!
Welcome to Stupid Town,
A place where manly men abound.
We tell our women to calm down,
Here in Stupid Town!
In Stupid Town, we have no trace
Of prejudice towards any race.
Plus, we hardly ever see them face-to-face.
And when we do, we just give chase!
Welcome to Stupid Town
We are the friendliest folks around.
We’re real big fans of ‘Stand Your Ground’,
Here in Stupid Town!
In Stupid Town, the government’s run
To protect the rights of everyone.
We value our freedoms and our fun.
That’s why every child gets their very own handgun!
Welcome to Stupid Town!
The children, here, are safe and sound.
They open-carry on the school playground,
Here in Stupid Town!
We’re glad you stopped in Stupid Town.
We’re sorry you can’t stick around.
We hope you’ll come again, someday,
To the Stupidest town in the U.S.A.!
Welcome to Stupid Town,
Where everything is upside-down.
Our sheriff’s bent, the mayor’s a clown.
Here in Stupid Town!
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8. |
Ridin' With Biden
02:44
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I’m Ridin’ With Biden
by Dean Friedman
I’m ridin’ with Biden. I’m ridin’ with Biden.
I’m ridin’ with Biden. I’m ridin’ with Biden.
They may call him sleepy Joe,
But there’s one thing for sure I know:
He’s got more decency in his little toe… than ‘you know’.
It’s time for deciding.
No more dividing.
Our future is ridin’ on... Biden.
He rode shotgun for Obama.
He’ll dispense with all the melodrama.
He’s good friends with the Dalai Lama.
And you know who loves him most? Yo’ Mamma!
There’s no use in hiding.
Currents of history colliding.
Can’t take no more backsliding.
He was the Senator from Delaware.
Fought hard to give us affordable healthcare.
Helped to legislate clean water and clean air.
He’ll put an end to this national nightmare.
It’s time for good tidings.
I filled out my ballot and mailed it right in.
It’s time we had a grownup presiding.
Beloved by voters east, north, west and south.
Even though he occasionally puts his foot in his mouth.
He’s the man for the job, of that there is no doubt.
So, don’t be shy – shout it out!
I’m Ridin’… I’m ridin’ with Biden.
With Biden… I’m ridin’ with Biden.
I’m Ridin’… I’m ridin’ with Biden.
With Biden… I’m ridin’ with Biden.
I’m Ridin’… with Biden.
copyright (c) 2021 Dean Friedman Music
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9. |
Wear a Mask
03:10
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Wear a Mask
by Dean Friedman
If you’re heading to the grocery store to stock up on some food,
Try to keep in mind what rules apply.
Have some consideration for your neighbors – don’t be rude.
It really isn’t that hard to comply.
Wear a Mask! Wear a Mask!
You know it isn’t all that much to ask.
Unless you want to wind up lying in a casket,
Wear a Mask! Wear a Mask! Wear a Mask!
Though one day soon, we hope they come up with a cure,
Along with an effective, safe vaccine.
Until that day, we must endure
By practicing social distancing and good hygiene. And…
Wear a Mask! Wear a Mask!
We must be equal to the task.
Or else in a viral mist of Covid you will bask.
Wear a Mask! Wear a Mask! Wear a Mask!
We all long for the day this awful scourge will pass,
And the virus will be gone without a trace.
Until that day, don’t be an ass!
Keep that mask upon your face! And…
Wear a Mask! Wear a Mask!
The concept isn’t difficult to grasp!
Or you could find your health declined. You’ll go out with a gasp!
Wear a Mask! Wear a Mask! Wear a Mask!
Think about your parents and your parent’s parents too.
Think about the old man down the lane.
This stuff is serious – this ain’t no fuckin’ flu.
Anyone that thinks so is insane! So…
Wear a Mask! Wear a Mask!
If you’re heading to the pub to fill your flask.
From London to L.A., from Honolulu to Alaska,
Wear a Mask! Wear a Mask! Wear a Mask!
Wear a Mask! Wear a Mask! Wear a Mask!
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10. |
I Wish You Joy
03:44
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I Wish You Joy!
by Dean Friedman
I can see by the frown on your face,
You’re in dire need of a warm embrace.
When it feels like you’re running in place,
And all pleasures gone, without a trace…
I wish you joy!
I wish you joy!
I wish you laughter, elation, delight, jubilation – poor boy!
When each day is a battle anew,
And your darkest fears obscure your view,
And it feels like you’ll never pull through,
There’s a remedy that’s tried and true…
I wish you joy!
I wish you joy!
I wish you laughter, elation, delight, jubilation – oh, boy!
I wish you joy!
If it seems like more than you can bare,
Just step outside and breathe the morning air.
Make a vow or say a prayer.
Clear your mind, you’re sure to find that miracles are everywhere!
Joy! Joy! Joy! Joy! Joy! Joy! Joy! Joy! …
When the sadness wells up in your heart,
And good cheer appears to depart,
There’s one piece of advice I’ll impart -
It’s that finding grace is the place to start.
I wish you joy!
I wish you joy!
I wish you laughter, elation, delight, jubilation – dear boy!
I wish you joy!
Joy! Joy! Joy! Joy! Joy! Joy! Joy! Joy! …
copyright (c) 2021 Dean Friedman Music
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11. |
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Just Another Birthday Song
by Dean Friedman
You must’ve had a lot of ambition -
An emission on a mission.
You must’ve been a really good swimmer,
To beat out all the competition.
And just like Rocky Balboa,
You whooped all the other spermatozoa.
And it’s a good thing it all worked out that way,
Or you wouldn’t be able to be here to hear us sing today.
We’re really, really glad that you were born.
You know it’s wonderful to hear that you survived another year.
You’re like a great big box of buttered popcorn.
You know we really, really love you. We just can’t get enough of you.
We celebrate this ‘oh so’ special day.
You know you must’ve looked so cute in your birthday suit.
The doctor took one look and said, “Oy Vey!”
You must’ve made your momma shout, the moment you popped out.
And no sooner than you let out your first cry,
They could tell that you were blessed and destined for success.
And even though that last line was a lie,
Still, they thought you were kind of sweet so, in the end, they decided to keep you.
We’re really, really glad that you were born.
You’re really quite unique. Can’t help but pinch you on the cheek.
And like the mythological unicorn,
There’s nobody quite like you. That’s why we really, really like you.
So, blow out all the candles on your cake.
Enjoy a great big plateful and remember to be grateful.
‘cause even though you were most likely a mistake,
Somehow you made it through. And that’s how we got you.
But remember, even though you’re one year older,
Despite all the things you did, you’re still just a kid.
So, if you ever need a shoulder to cry on,
We’d be happy to be of assistance, except for, you know, social distancing.
We’re really, really glad that you were born
You really oughta give thanks that your dad wasn’t shootin’ blanks.
So, ring that bell and toot your horn.
Dance around and jump and shout and don’t forget to thank your
mom for pushing out!
copyright (c) 2021 Dean Friedman Music
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12. |
On a Summer's Night
04:34
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On a Summer’s Night
by Dean Friedman
And the world seems right on a summer's night.
All is calm and the world seems right.
Soft shadows fall upon your face,
In the fading light.
As the sun's last rays recede from sight.
A flood of fireflies take flight.
And the world seems right on a summer's night.
All is calm and the world seems right.
All my worries and my fears
Seem to suddenly disappear,
The moment you draw near.
All at once my way is crystal clear.
And the world seems right on a summer's night.
All is calm and the world seems right.
A gentle, warm breeze blows,
As the valley sighs.
I turn my gaze and to my surprise,
I’m forever lost in your moonlit eyes.
And the world seems right on a summer's night.
All is calm and the world seems right.
All my worries and my fears
Seem to suddenly disappear,
The moment you draw near.
copyright (c) 2021 Dean Friedman Music
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Dean Friedman Peekskill, New York
Dean Friedman entered pop consciousness with his Top 20 hit, Ariel, a quirkily irresistible and uncategorizable pop song about a free spirited, pot-smoking, vegetarian Jewish girl in a peasant blouse. Since then, hits like Lucky Stars, Lydia, Rocking Chair, McDonald’s Girl and Woman of Mine have earned him a loyal international following, devoted to his work as a master songsmith and performer. ... more
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